Romance at a Glance is a podcast where hosts Bridget and Shani review romance novels and interview some of romance’s biggest authors diving into candid conversations about life, relationships, and sexual desires. Expect 100% honest reviews, spontaneous singing, life lessons, indecent anecdotes, and bawdy humor. Leave us a rating and review on iTunes.

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We tots thought that this book was going to have a darker romance, however, the darkness in this book was the situation and backstory of the characters, especially the Mae and the other women from the cult. One of the books that we disagreed with the most in our final ratings… probably because Shani is sick of these dark romance heroes with their hearts of gold!

Quick Guide Review of It Ain’t Me, Babe

Book Title: It Ain't Me, Babe

Author: Tillie Cole

Narrator/ Available in audio: J.F. Harding, Annie Green

Part of a Series: (Yes or No) Yes, Book #1 of the Hades Hangmen Series - 8 books in total

Genre: Dark Romance, Dark Contemporary Romance, MC Romance

Cover Art: I was into the cover art. A man on a motorcycle on a desolate tree line road? Washed out coloring made me think dark romance. Worked for me!

Synopsis: Many years ago, two children meet through a huge fence. The boy with a severe stutter who can talk only to her, his dad, and best friend. And the girl Mae, a prisoner in the commune where she regularly is horrifically raped by the pedophile “prophet and disciples” of the cult. 

After her sister is brutally murdered and left to die, Mae (then Salome) runs and escapes to the outside world she has never seen. Afraid of everything, she finds herself at River Styx’s motorcycle club. 

Powerful fists, an iron jaw, and the skillful use of his treasured German blade have earned River Styx a fearsome reputation as The Hangman Mute. Will this man be her salvation? Or drag her to hell?

Heroine Rating:

Shani: 🍑🍑 YOU left your sisters!

Bridget: 🍑🍑🍑🍑🍑 I thought she had gumption and courage and stood up for herself. Not her fault she loves someone who’s got some issues or that her bestie Rider got some PAB tendencies.

Hero Rating: 

Shani: 🍆🍆 Mc Hothead

Bridget: 🍆🍆🍆🍆 Look. He reminds me of Jax Teller. One of my favorite damaged anti-hero TV characters of all time. He did make some real annoying chest-beating stay away from my woman to Rider which lost a point. But gotta love a man who’ll literally take or give a bullet (in fiction of course) and came back for her and also take down that cult and order hits like it ain’t no thang.

Mc Dreamy to Mc Steamy: Good lord he should be McSteamy but was McDreamy.

Classy to Nasty:

Shani: Vanilla Kinky BDSM Bodice Ripper: Vanilla

Bridget: Vanilla

Favorite Line in the Book:

Shani:

“I want you to own me. “

“I was wr-wrong. So d-damn wrong. You need a st-strong man, babe. You n-n-need a man to l-love you, to pr-protect you, to be your f-fuckin’ world.” Her breath paused and I smirked. “It’s m-me, babe. It’s s-so fuckin’ me." - Styx

Bridget:

“I w-want you too. F-fuck, I want you in m-my bed, by my side, on m-my bike. I w-want you as m-my old lady. Taking c-care of me, n-needing me… letting me inside you.” - Styx

“I have only ever liked one boy in my life. I have only wanted one man to have as my own. I have only ever had one dream since I was eight. Styx, the dream is you. You stole my heart fifteen years ago and you still haven’t given it back.” - Mae

Favorite Review:

Shani: It really had potential but it didn't turn out like I expected. It was still entertaining and quick to read though.

Bridget: Tillie Cole rated it it was amazing  ·  (Review from the author)

Hey all!

Okay, because I created this bad boy, I'm gonna give it 5 HUGE stars!!!! I'll be releasing lots of teasers too, so as I do, I'll add them on here, as well as my website, for you to check out.

Worth the Read?

Shani: No ⭐⭐

Bridget: Yes ⭐⭐⭐⭐. I read Books 2 & 3 after because I wanted to see what happened to her sisters. I didn’t think this book was incredibly hot or steamy even though they do have good sex on the page. For me, it was more fascinating and I got invested in the characters. You can check out my thoughts on Books 2 & 3 on Patreon!

Until then, May your books be lover, and your hand is your best friend!

Full Podcast Transcript - It Ain't Me, Babe By Tillie Cole

MC Gang As Heroes?

Welcome to another episode. With me as always is my cohost Shani. What up, Shani?

What’s up, Bridget?

I am stoked to talk to you about It Ain't Me, Babe, by Tillie Cole because I read it and due to some scheduling things, you finished it and so I have been waiting and waiting to find out what you think. In a reverse, you are waiting for me because I did not finish my notes on time. I feel that we're ready and bursting.

I'm excited. I didn't realize you had finished it so long ago though. I'm glad I didn't know that.

You know me, I finished the last book and I go to the next book. That's silly. I need to read a few other books in between so that you have time to even get the audiobook ready to go. The audiobooks are always longer.

Did you read Flame’s story on a side note?

Yes, of course, I did, Shani. I read books 2 and 3 immediately after reading book one. If you guys would like to know my reviews of that, you can go to Patreon.com/RomanceAtAGlance where I'll be talking about books 2 and 3 of the Hades Hangmen Series.

I'm so mad at you. I want to know what happens in Flame’s book, but you're going to have to tell it to me like a slow story.

I will tell you a slow story on Patreon, happily. I'll read you my favorite passages.

That's the story I was interested in. I was like, "Tell me more Flame." He's cutting himself and blood dripping down his arms and then he's tortured. Has he got a love story?

Yes.

I definitely got to read it.

I do think it was the best of the first three books.

I might skip to that one or whatever.

I don't think you're going to like book two as much only because the main character, is very brainwashed by the cult and didn't want to leave. Whereas, Mae, the main character in this book escaped on purpose and wanted to leave, wanting to experience the world and wanting to try things even though she was scared. The main character in the second book about half the book, she's fundamentally brainwashed by this cult and deeply thinks that she is going to go to hell if she does not go back. It takes a long time for her to break free of her brainwashing, which I think is realistic. It's a good portrayal. It makes for a very sweet finale and it makes for a good story. In terms of it being a dark romance, she's very much brainwashed. You'll like book three better than two, is the point of my story.

Is Ky in the next book?

Yeah. We should get into this book because this is the one that we are supposed to talk about.

Let's get into this book, It Ain't Me, Babe by Tillie Cole. 

Let's get this shit popping.

---

Everyone, welcome back. As you guys know, this is It Ain't Me, Babe by Tillie Cole. It is book number one of the Hades Hangmen series. There are eight books in total, along with a couple of supplemental novellas, some of which go into the past of different biker's lives. Some of which go in the timeline. It is, of course, dark romance. You guys know we're doing dark romance all season, dark romance, contemporary dark romance, motorcycle club romance, MC romance. Shani, tell me a little bit about the narrator. What was the audio like?

The audio was solid. It was JF Harding and Annie Green. I thought that they did a good job. I don't remember them too much. They were good. 

They didn't distract from the story. They told it to you. What did you think about the cover art? I'm intrigued about what you think because obviously, we've talked a lot on the show about how illustrated covers do not do it for us and also make us think things are going to be light, fun, and airy. I thought this cover gave me a good indication, like with the washed-out coloring and the blood-red text and he's on a motorcycle that this was going to be dark. That’s at least how I felt.

Two things, one, I like the cover art of this. If a cover could tell you exactly what the book is about, I felt like this did. Two, I don't necessarily think this was a dark romance.

I agree. I was going to wait a little bit longer, but I'm glad you brought it up right away because I was going to try and figure out how to tease this into the conversation. When I think of dark romance, I think that between the two main characters, there's going to be darkness. This book was very dark. I'm going to read you guys a synopsis, but the cults, the child rape, and imprisonment. They murdered her sister, abusing them, branding them, and all these other things. Trapping them in this cult communes or fenced-off nest so they couldn't escape. All of that is incredibly dark, but the actual romance was not dark. Let me give a little synopsis so that people know what we're talking about and then we'll go into the book.

Many years ago, there were two children who met through a huge fence, a boy with a severe stutter who could talk only to her, his dad and best friend, and a girl Mae a prisoner in a commune where she regularly is horrifically raped by a pedophile prophet and disciples of the cult. After her sister was brutally murdered and left to die, Mae, then Salome runs and escapes to the outside world she has never seen. Afraid of everything, she finds herself at River Styx’s Motorcycle Club. He happens to be the boy through the fence.

Powerful fists, iron jaw, and the skillful use of his treasured German blade have earned River Styx a fearsome reputation as the Hangmen Mute. Will this man be her salvation or drag her to hell? I have to say he was her salvation. At the beginning of the book, he's fucking whoever he wants to. They're all talking about bitches this and bitches that, and cutting people up. Generally, dealing drugs, guns, and all sorts of badassness. He meets her and Nicky, his best friend is even like, "This can't be the girl. We thought you made her up." He's been talking about her and obsessed with her since he saw her at eleven years old and thought he'd never ever find her.

He tried to find her, couldn't find her. The only reason he was near the communes because that's where his dad was dumping a dead body while he was in the car. He happened to be near it and then he could never find it again because his dad wouldn't tell him. Aside from a few minor character problems in the sense that he's aggressively jealous, I would say that’s his major character default for me but everyone has to have a default. He can't be perfect. I would definitely agree with you that this book was not a dark romance. It was dark content and created a ton of triggers. There's some fucked up shit in this book that happens that she remembers, but the romance itself was sweet.

Do you think it was sweet?

Not sweet, maybe sweet is the wrong word. It was like a hopeful almost in the sense that they both were reaching for someone and that person reached back. It's a hopeful thing for two people who feel very damaged.

That sounds sad. I imagine two people in the dark.

I thought the book was sad.

They touch each other and then they're like, "We met, let's call it a day. You and I let's go."

That's basically what happens at 8 and 11 they're like, "Let's call it a day. You're my person."

That is pretty much all that I got from Salome, Mae or whatever you want to call it, and Styx. I know how that goes. There was a word that I had only ever read in historical romance books for years. I used it out loud in person to my sister and she looked at me and she was like, "Shani, that's not how you say that.”

It brings me back to our Black Dagger Brotherhood days when we could never figure out how to pronounce anyone's names. We were like, "Fuck it. We'll go with our goddamn pronunciation."

Salome and Styx, I did not connect with these characters and mostly because there was no love story.

I agree. This was not a sexy book.

No, I didn't think it was a romantic book. They had some fucking here and there, but where was the romance? If the romance was, "She's mine," then there was romance. Honestly, they had nothing in common. What did they do for each other, other than the fact that they met at 8 and 11? Now they are meeting and if I have to hear wolf eyes one more time, "Those wolf eyes," please.

Part A, I don't even know what that means. Part B, also, what did you think about the fact that even in the internal monologues or in the description part used the word bitches all the time?

Bitch is a word that I adopted in my later life. I used to never curse when I was younger. I would never refer to a woman as a bitch, a whore, or whatever. In the last year or two, I've embraced bitch and I'd be like, "Bitch, what the fuck."

I feel like this is partially my fault. I'm like, "Bitch, please."

First of all, we get so hyped that there's sometimes I can't describe something without being like, "Bitch." Full disclosure, I have not read that many motorcycle books.

I haven't either.

Maybe one a long time ago. I'm not super familiar with the vernacular, but they kept saying bitch and I'm like, "That must be a motorcycle thing." They kept saying it over and over again. It doesn't bother me. It bothered me how repetitive it was. It was the same with wolf eyes. I don't need to keep hearing it all the time. That was my only problem.

I did not mind it when they were "speaking" because it's part of the culture and it sets the scene. That's how they refer to women, fine. I felt like in his internal monologue, they could have substituted girl, woman, lady, chick, hottie, whatever, for some of it, because when I'm talking, I might always say, "Dude." In my mind, I might be that guy or Mae use her name or something like that. I felt like it was repetitive. It was too much bitches for me.

There's a lot of stuff in this book to me that was repetitive. I was underwhelmed because I liked a lot the premise of the story. I love the cult angle, the motorcycle club, and even them meeting as little kids. The book started off with hopefulness in my eyes and then it subsequently dropped off. First off, Rider, I felt way more chemistry for Mae and Rider. I wanted them to be together.

I definitely thought there was going to be a turn and even in her, that was one of the quotes that I picked out because I wanted to talk about it. She says in her mind for the first time, this is maybe a third of the way through the book or maybe 40%. "For the first time I saw Rider in a whole new light, he was beautiful." I was like, "Shit, are we taking a turn? Things are going to be happening." They're both in a motorcycle club and kill people, but she's going to have to choose between the "good one" and the "bad boy one." That's going to have to be a real choice, but then it never manifests as a choice because she never gives Rider a chance.

I'm mad at Tillie for this because she set up Rider to be this sweet person who's helping her out or whatever and then very quickly turned him into an incel.

What's that?

It's involuntary celibate. It's these guys on the internet who blame women for not being able to date them or whatever and then end up going crazy on them, attacking and doing crazy shit to them, or bullying them on the internet. They're called incels.

I call them a pussy ass bitch. That's why I said, "You all pussy ass bitch. She wants to be your friend." You're like, "You don't love me. I can't be your friend." I was like, "This man is fab."

My thing is that she set him up. I felt like she gave him a certain personality and then took it away from us not in a way that felt justified. Rider all of a sudden got real possessive. Not only that she said no multiple times. Even the last time where she had already said, no, he'd already gotten beaten up and stuff. He puts his hand out and he's like, "Come with me."

She's like, "No, I love Styx. You crazy mofo."

It seemed so out of character. It seemed put on to me that whole situation.

We find out at the end of the book that he's actually Cain and he's the heir to the entire cult. They're trying to take over all of the gun traffic and truck traffic. He's been embedded with them, feeding them information this whole last five years. That's the reason why he doesn't sleep with anyone because I don't know if they talk about that in this book, but it's part of his religion that he has to be pure until he becomes the anointed cult leader or whatever.

It was funny because they're looking for a rat and they don't suspect the one dude in their whole crew.

He's been there five years. It's not like he's been there a year. Five years is a long ass time, Shani.

I give it to you.

Years ago like, "I didn't have children. You don't need a lot.” A lot of things happened. Also, the way he is with her makes sense too. If you think back now on his actions and put it in the perspective of, he was raised in a cult that does not value women, that treats them as property. He knows that she is supposed to be with the cult leader. He knows that she is supposed to be with him and/or the cult. In his mind, it's his right to her and her body and the fact that she doesn't want to come. He's like, "What are you talking about? We're perfect together. You should be with me." He's a bad guy. He's going to hell because he's not part of a cult. He's in a non-religion and, "I want to save you." He's a fucking nut job. He only gets nuttier in books 2 and 3. Although in book three, he starts to swing back and realize his cult is crazier than he thought it was.

I wish that he wasn't the nut job though.

I wish he wasn't in the cult though for real. Although I see why she did it because it plays out over multiple books. Also, I liked Rider at the beginning.

I liked Rider and I wanted her to be with Rider, not the other dude. I'm going to take a big pivot here because I put this in big, bold letters in my notes.

I know what it's going to be.

Don't you jump the gun?

I want to see if I'm right though in my mind.

This is my biggest problem with this motherfucking book. Mae left her sisters in a fucking cult and never tried to go back for them. She went on to live her happy life in the motorcycle gang and never talked about going back for them at all.

She did ask him and he said, "I've been looking for you my whole life and I could never find it. I'm sorry. I can't find you. I don't know where they are." She asked him about it.

She doesn't push to go find her sisters. She knows exactly what they're going through. Bridget, are you going to tell me you know your sisters are in a cult where some shit is happening to her and she's dead in the motherfucking eyes and you may make it out to paradise and you're going to go lounge at the beach and have a party? Knowing that your sisters are still stuck somewhere. Not a chance in motherfucking hell.

Probably not. However, I was raised in the world. Trying to put myself into her shoes, her one sister didn't want to come. She knows that they can't be found. She has no idea where she escaped from. She's afraid for her life that if she leaves the house, they'll somehow find her even though she's hours and hours away. He tells her like, "I tried to find you and that commune forever and I never could." They have extensive resources. I can see where in her mind as someone who doesn't understand the world or that there are other avenues to explore that she's like, "I'll never find them." She's never even seen a phone. She doesn't know anything about anything.

She doesn't even know about Coca-Cola. I will say that in subsequent books. She does get kidnapped and taken back and put with her sisters. Now he knows who to track down and who's involved. He goes and brings the pain and they find the commune and he calls in the MCs from the entire nation and he's like, "We're going to war, everyone, get ready." They all come, attack the commune and kill all the elders that they could find. They kill the main guy. That part I liked though when she pointed at him and he was like, "That one," and he was like, "Snipe him." No questions asked. That's why I like my characters. In this scenario in real life, I'd be concerned if someone was killing people on my whim. In this scenario, if I tell you to kill somebody, I don't want to hear no whip about it. I don't want you to be like, "Which one?" I want you to fucking kill the fools I pointed at. "Pop that one." They go and rescue the sisters and he comes back and obviously saves everyone.

I like the massacre at the end. I thought it was a good scene. I thought when the sister saw the guy dead and came back and was happy with Flame. I thought that was cute as that scene can be. I actually enjoyed them storming the compound or whatever. In my mind, I was like, "I don't know if they're outnumbered or not, but I'm going to imagine that they're badasses at this shit." I gave it to them.

No, they outnumbered the cult people. They said that.

I thought the cult people outnumbered them. I had it the other way around. There are many things in this book that made me laugh so hard and I don't know where to start. Aside from the cult leaders, one-dimensional Lois.

You said one-dimensional Lois. Are you talking about the woman that he was having sex with at the beginning or getting blow jobs with at the beginning?

That he was having sex with who didn't matter so much to the story that they blew her head off very quickly. They totally got rid of her.

She got murdered quickly. We don't want to have no rival in place. You can't have two rivals on both sides. Let's kill one. Also, it was her way of showing that there are stakes in this world and it's not like, "Someone might get injured." People are dying in these conflicts.

Styx killed ten Neo-Nazis single-handedly.

Do you know why I didn't mind that scene? It is because he almost died. I don't like when people go in. This is criticism for action movies too. There are a million bad guys with Uzis and no one gets hit with a bullet and I'm like, "Let's be realistic a little bit." Not a lot because I like my action movies with a little bit of cray, but a little bit of realism is sometimes nice. In this, he almost dies. The only reason he survived is because they didn't shock him for a second hidden dagger. That's why he killed them. They tortured him and carved a swastika in him before he does that. It's not like he casually killed eight people and was totally fine. He killed six people with the element of surprise and then got tortured by a swastika and narrowly escaped with his life. I was like, "Okay, fine. I accept that."

Explain to me why Rider did not kill Styx when he stole Mae towards the end. He hung them up on a fence or whatever. They tortured them a bit, but then he let him live, knowing that Styx is a stubborn motherfucker and will come back.

I cannot answer that for you. I had two thoughts about it. One was that Rider has been living with him for five years and respects and likes him. As much as he thinks he's the devil and going to hell, he also respects his code. He fell in love with that life of their immoral morality. That was my first thought. My second thought was that he knew Mae would never forgive him if he killed Styx and he desperately wants her to love him. That was my second thought.

The second one I might buy a little bit more, but those are reasonable.

I love how this is me debunking your problems with this book. I'm loving this episode so much.

I sat down and I was like, "Shani, this book feels like it has all the things in place, but it almost feels like things are in the wrong place or there are not enough of things." One of the other things that I quantified when I was sitting with myself, was like, "Why don't I like this book?" I think it's because in my alpha males, even if they're hotheads and then want to fight and do that thing, there's a certain amount of intelligence that they have. I respect them and they're smart, even if they are letting their temper get the best of them sometimes. I more enjoy my hot heads that can be controlled like that controlled seeding.

He was definitely a fire and brimstone. He was not like cold as ice like, "Let me control the situation."

The one thing that turned me off in the book and it has nothing to do with the girl at all. It was Ky who found the cell phone in one of the brother's rooms and said that he was a snitch. They carved him up real fast and killed him. He didn't talk. He didn’t ask him hardly no questions. He was gone. You find out later that Rider was the rat. I don't hear anything about how they accidentally killed the wrong dude.

They do not have time for apologies. They were fighting the wars. They're bad dudes. They're like, "Whatever, moving on. Let's get some new recruits." Casual murdering. Keep in mind that this is the MC that has Flame in its group. He is cutting himself and making himself bleed the whole book. He literally says, "I need to go murder people. Let me loose," multiple times. They're like, "Don't worry, Flame." When people see him coming, they start running because they're so scared because he loves killing people. They're not good people. It's a good place to start that they killed someone on accident and they're like, "It's a casualty of war." They put it on Rider, frankly. They were like, "This is Rider's fault for framing that guy. It’s not our fault for being duped. We wash our hands of this sin. I pass it to you."

Another question, Bridget. How do you feel about the author skipping ahead a month? She gets found and then they're like, "Wolf's eyes," and then they skip ahead a month?

I didn't mind. Many authors and romance do epilogues and shit that are set in multiple years or months or whatever ahead. I was used to it. I was like, "They skipped ahead because they always do." They always skip the hard part right after everyone gets together. They always gloss right over that to two months advance.

I'm talking about at the beginning of the book when she gets together with Styx. There's a time jump.

He leaves her for a month while she's healing. I didn't mind it at all, frankly. I didn't care. I thought it was fine because honestly, she was so injured that if they had picked up right from there, it would've been her gimping around. It's like, "She's sleeping again today." She's malnourished and a savage dog bite on her leg. She almost bled to death. They give her multiple pints of blood like, "That bitch is not going nowhere for at least a week or two." I was fine with it. It explained the fact that when he came back, she could walk around, talk to him and do things.

It didn't let him be the one to nurse her or him be the one to explain the world to her or him be the one to have her blossom. When he comes back, I feel like she's given up the cult life as you will. She's more accepting of what's happening to her. Also, sex and stuff. You're talking about the second book where the girl is more traumatized and she wants to be in the cult. I expected a little bit more of that from this character Mae as well.

She did the scene where she apologized to him by assuming the rape of position of her cult. He's like, "What the fuck are you doing?" She's like, "I pleased you and I don't want you to force me to leave because I don't have anywhere to go." He's like, "You don't have to do that here. What happened to you?" She explains. That was one of the things is in his mind after she tells him what happened, he's so shocked. He also already has a horrible speech impediment. He literally can't get any words out about it after she tells him. "My hands gripped Mae around her waist and I shook in anger. A 30-year-old man fucked an eight-year-old chick with some bear trap contraption, prying her innocent pussy open. Sick motherfucker. What kind of pervert does that shit to a kid? Sick motherfuckers, a lot of them."

He stutters and says, "Babe, you telling me you were raped at age eight. I bid out." She says, "Yes." He loses it and leaves the room. I was unhappy for Mae. She's like, "I told you something very personal and then you made me feel shameful about it. You made me feel like it was my fault." He's about to lose it and murder everyone. I thought she did a good job of the frustration of him trying to get things out and not being able to, and not bursting out in violent ways and other ways. I also thought frankly, if someone told me that, I don't think that I wouldn't handle it well and certainly not if it was someone that I loved or I wouldn't be like, "Talk to me about it." That sound would be going on in my brain like, "I'm going to go murder all these people. I'm going to commit murder."

You're not wrong. I was talking to a friend of mine who does social work because I'm interested in fostering eventually. I was like, "I had some questions." She was explaining some stuff about it to me and she said, "The hardest thing you're going to encounter is the kids who are sexualized." As soon as she said it, I could picture it in my mind because I remember going to a bounce house with my niece who's three. There was this older girl who kept taking around and my niece was following her. That girl was following me. She would stay close to me. She would come to hold onto my arm, hug me and lounge her body onto the side of me. She must've been 11 or 12 and I'm highly uncomfortable. I'm pushing her off.

You don't like to be touched anyways, let alone by people you don't know or small children, you don't know.

It was so sexual in nature, the way she was holding me. In my mind, I was like, "Holy hell, what's going on in her home?" I was talking to my friend and I had told her that. I was like, "Holy hell, what's going on in her home?" She's like, "Sex is going on in her home. That's how the kids behave when that's going on in their home. On day one, that's the thing that'll get you." I was like, "I can't even fathom." She's like, "When you're 3 and 4-year-old, you don't know where to put that in your brain." You smoke some weed.

My first note on this book was the pedophile cult raping little girls with bear traps. People are disgusting. It's literally like to me unfathomable and thank heavens that it is unfathomable to me. The idea that it is fathomable is not obviously a thought I ever wanted to have. When I was reading this, because they talked about one of the girls was six and my kid is only three. I was like, "She's so tiny." I cannot imagine the harm physically to the organs, let alone the emotional trauma, the psychological, and all of those things, which are huge.

Physically, children are not built for that. They are not big enough. They are not strong enough. The way she describes it and then when she asks Rider. Did that happen in this book that she asks Rider if she has ever been a part of a brother, sister sharing and he's like, "I don't know what you're talking about?" She explains it to him and he doesn't believe her. I was like, "You pussy ass bitch. Not even believing her. Fuck you, bro. You saw the scars on her. Where do you think she got all those fucking scars? Why do you think she ran away from your cult talking about how she was raped as a child? You little brainwashed-ass bitch." Especially since he'd been in the real world for five years. I was like, "You know people get raped. You've been in the world five years." I suppose if you were brainwashed as a child, that your cult religion is like their religion.

I guess that's why I have a bit of an issue with how quickly she acclimates to the motorcycle club because I didn't grow up in a cult, but I grew up in a highly religious home. Calvary Chapel is a cult allegedly, but it took many years to deprogram and every day I feel like it's still a choice. There are certain things where I have to choose to not regress to that programming. It's probably not until about now in my life where I feel very confident about like, "The decisions I've made and the things I want to believe and the things I think are bullshit." The fact is, they skip a month and then after that month, I feel like she's on board. I know there's a thing here or there.

She never goes anywhere. In my mind, she understands the rules of this tiny world but doesn't understand anything about the outside world still.

Do you think she went from one cult to another cult?

Basically or one cult to another group that has a set culture of what's allowed, what's not allowed. She went to a place where women are very much secondary and expected to be the old lady of the guy. They don't get to go to the meetings. For her, it almost probably felt like not comfortable, but she's not chafing at, "You're telling me that I’m not allowed to know what's going on." That's normal for her. She never knows what the fuck's going on. I didn't have a problem with that. I also think she does each of the three, I only read three of the books, but the next book, as I said, she's very much brainwashed still.

It takes her a long time, in her own mind, to push past it. You find out more about the cult. She cooks dinner for her main dude and some of the other guys and they asked her to like, "Come grab a plate." She's like, "You're letting me eat with you." He's like, "If you cook, you eat with us. That's how it is." She cries and she's like, "Thank you. I've never been allowed to eat before. I always eat later in my room." He tells her to try coffee and she takes a sip, even though she doesn't want to. He's like, "If you don't want to take a sip, say, 'Fuck you, I'm not taking a sip.' You don't have to do what I say. You get to decide."

The next girl who's with Flame doesn't even come out for all of book two. She can't leave her room. She's too afraid. She stands and stares out the window at everyone, but she's too afraid to even go outside the room. They bring her the food and she never leaves the room and it takes her months of time to even step outside the room. The only reason that she leaves is because Flame needs her and he saved her. She's like, "I can be brave for this one thing to repay this thing to him." After that, she basically doesn't leave their house because obviously, they get together. They are romance novels. There are main couples in each one, but after they get together, she doesn't leave their house.

She's with him now in that house. She very occasionally will leave for short amounts of time, but that's it. The second one, they end up not living at the house with everyone else. It's on the same huge property that the MC owns, but he builds her a cabin where she can have some space around her because she's uncomfortable around all the people, the promiscuous sex, the drug use, the drinking and all this other stuff. He builds her a cabin that they can live in a way but still with the club because they're on club grounds. Each one has its own separate response to the trauma. I also read books 2 and 3. If I had only read book one, I would have been like, "She does get over this cult thing real fast." She is the one who decided like, "I can't take it anymore. There has to be more out there and I'm going to find it and seize it."

I do like that in her character where she's like, "Fuck this. If they killed my sister, then I don't believe whatever is happening." I liked that she has at least that gumption. It's funny because in my journeys through BDSM, I've met three different women who used to belong to cults and are now submissives. It is interesting. I was thinking that when I was reading this book because she does go from one cult to another cult. I wonder if there's something to that. If you're raised in such a way where everything is super duper controlled, it's like jail. You know how there are some people who get out of jail and they don't know how to function, they want to go back to jail. I wonder if there is something to that, not like a broad brush that everybody who grows up in a cult wants to go back. There are certain personalities or certain people who feel more comfortable having the confines of rules and strict rules because I've never met anybody in the cult until again to BDSM that I know three people in the cults.

I have never been anyone that I know of that was willing to tell me, so who knows if I have or not? In general, you gravitate towards what you grew up with. This is such a general broad stroke, but I feel like you either gravitate towards that same life. Let's say you grew up in a house where everyone plays sports and everyone is doing activities and involved in things. Generally, as an adult, you're going to be in a family where that's the norm or if you're in a house where everyone reads books, then you're going to grow up and be a house where everyone reads books or whatever the case may be. If you're in a very strict house, you're either going to have a strict house or a lax house.

There are people who break the mold, but I could see it. In this instance, to go from that one extreme where you're being raped all the time, but you'd never even heard the word rape. You don't even know what that concept is. You're being told that, "This is part of your religion and that you're helping them reach God. This is part of the way that your soul will be saved and you're going to heaven." To leave that and realize it's bullshit and that they are horrible people and then to come to the real world. She never goes to the real world.

It's not like she goes somewhere and then finds him later. She goes straight there. To be dropped into a place where everything that they're doing, you have been told is going to send you to the devil. They're drinking, they’re promiscuous, they're killing, they're doing all these things and yet, you're being treated with safety and no one rapes her or takes advantage of her. In fact, when she offers this brother-sister sharing, or whatever they call it, he's like, "That's fucking creepy. That's rape, that's bad." I would personally latch right onto that safety. I'm sure I'd be like, "This is a sweet ass. You’re all going to hell, however, you're also not raping me constantly. I find you to be the perfect place for me."

If I was her, it's like, "Where else is she going to go?" She doesn't even have identification. She's not even a citizen of America because she's born in this cult and they never registered her. She doesn't even have a last name. She has no money, skills, job, abilities, or prospects. They give her a job in the little shop. She starts to learn how to do things and be a part of the world. "What else is she going to do? What do people who escaped cults do?" There's got to be some support group infrastructure of people who've escaped and survived and whatnot, I suppose. It didn't bother me. I guess it's the roundabout way to say that I treated this as fiction and I was like, "Okay." Do you want to know the thing I was most upset about, Shani, in this entire book? They fucked in a bathtub. That's the thing that I was most upset about in this whole book. He's like, "Let me make you feel good. This is the first time we're having sex." He doesn't even dry her off and put her in the bed. I was like, "You’re wrong for that, River."

I have one last question. It is about this book, but it's also about any book in general. How do you feel when there's clearly another love interest or another woman that they're putting in to create a rift between the main couple?

Like whom?

Lois to Mae and Styx.

I don't care. Do you know why? It's because in this instance she was described and clearly like a fuck buddy. I didn't care because he doesn't care about her. In my mind, she's not an impediment to the story. All that she is there to show is that he's not celibate. He is willing to fuck anything until he meets the right person. That's all she's there for is to show that he's a bad boy who will stick his dick in whatever. You also have a Notebook instance where he's sleeping with this woman because he thinks Allie will never come back. She has real feelings for him and he has much more respect for her, but never will love her like that. That was the middle ground.

You have the one where they were in a relationship and this is the girlfriend and he's going to leave her for this new person. That one is much trickier to pull off. The easiest way obviously is to be like, "She cheated or she did something horrible." In real life, most of the time, it's like someone has grown apart or they're moving. How often have you seen that happen between yourself or your friends where it's not the right timing? You might be the right person and in five years you could have been the right person to marry or whatever but for whatever timing reason, it's not going to happen or life stage reasons. That's much trickier to pull off in movies and TV. In this instance, I was like, "That's fine. She's a plot device." She is one-dimensional, but I would have been madder if she had stayed in the whole book and she was always there nagging through the story.

No. Instead they shot her in the head.

Instead, she's like, "I wish it could have been me. What's that for me?" She then dies.

Many books use this thing where the guy goes back to the woman. He goes to Lois and then she's going to give him a blow job but then he's like, "No." You don't get points for getting almost all the way there and then being like, "No." I don't like that shit. put your dick in her mouth, enjoy the process and then come back from that shit later. This whole thing about like, "I couldn't, I love somebody else so much." I would have respected that scene more if he had fucked Lois.

Why?

It's because every book does that.

I see why you're mad. You're not mad because he didn't have sex with Lois. You're mad because the authors use it as a plot device. I was like, "Why will she be mad at that?" 

It's driving me crazy to say no upfront. Don't get all the way to the edge and then it's like, "No.” She walked in.

I don't get all the way to the point where she's naked and on her knees and you're like, "I wasn't going to do it." It's like, "You don't have a lot of credibility right now."

To me, that's a pussy move. That's not my favorite thing. There are certain things in there that I want people to commit to. There was a Neo-Nazi on the team and they were like, "He's not a Nazi anymore. He likes anybody who respects him." I was like, "That is the weirdest line."

You find out that he fell in love with the cartel princess. He has to rethink all of his Nazi beliefs. They have a book later, which I did not read it yet. The reason that he ends up leaving the area and race, and even though he's the heir to the clan in all of Texas is because he falls in love with the cartel princess. He realizes that he's a hypocrite because if he can love her, then what the hell has he been doing? I don't know what happens in their story. There's more to the story, but that's, as far as I know about their story, that's what happened.

Are you telling me there is a Mexican Princesa Neo-Nazi love story?

Yes, there is. In fact, it is called Darkness Embraced. Adelita is the cartel princess. I'm reading through. His sister, you meet her character in the next book, and then she has been hidden away from the MC. I'm not going to tell you a lot. You guys can come to Patreon and read my review. She is vibing with two of the Hades Hangmen and someone points it out. "You're vibing with both those guys." She's like, "I do not know it." They're like, "They both are interested." She's like, "I don't know." I'm like, "Yes, you do know."

It turns out that they're supposed to protect her in their book, which is book number six called, Crux Untamed, "Scarred by events from his past and a secret that plagues him in everyday life, Hush refuses to let anyone get close. Only cowboy knows the real him. Until a certain sister of the club's VP begins to slowly knock down his defenses, shattering the heavily built walls, like guard his damaged soul with his best friend leading the charge." A newly mended threesome. I wasn't going to read anymore because the reason I didn't read book number four is that it's about Cain/Rider.

He does some real dick moves also in books 2 and 3. I was like, "You're basic and I don't want to respond to you." I didn't want to read it. Even though the reviews are very much like, "I hated it, I loved it." There's no middle ground. I'm either going to hate it or love it. I was like, "I'm not going to read it." The next one is about AK who I do like AK a little bit, but it's about another cult girl in him. I'm like, "He didn't know about that." Now that I know that there's going to be three threesomes, I will skip books 4 and 5 and I will read book six. You will also read about that on Patreon. I will circle back and let you know how the threesome goes. I don't know if it's a throuple or if it's a threesome. It sounds like it might be throuple but I'll keep you guys posted on Patreon. I will wait until Patreon to tell you all about book six and whether it is a threesome or trouble.

---

Bridget, what did you think of her heroine?

I gave her five stars.

You did not shut your motherfucking mouth but you do not give her five-star.

Here's the reason. One is I read this book, but I'm also giving her five stars. It might've been four or something, but it's five now because I put it on the paper and this is what it is. I thought she had gumption. She left the cult. She had courage. She was like, "I'm the fuck out of here." It's not her fault that everyone she loves has issues or that her new best friend Rider has PAB tendencies. She's doing the best she can. She has overcome insurmountable odds. She's not a huge pushover.

When he comes back after his little snafu with Lois and after the time when he storms out after she tells him about how she was raped. She's like, "No, I'm not going with you. You hurt my feelings. I'm not doing this. You need to do better." She's not a pushover. I do think to your point about the cult, perhaps it's not realistic, but I don't care. It's fiction. This is the character that I was given and I'm fine with her character. When she gets back to the cult after being kidnapped, she doesn't act like a little bitch. She's like, "We're going to do this together. I'm going to take care of you. We're going to weather this storm."

When her man comes with his army of motorcycle people, she's fucking point out hits left and right. The only stupid thing she does is let her old best friend Rider go, which comes back to haunt her in later books. I probably should have knocked off a star for that. It was a stupid decision but aside from that, I liked her. I gave her five stars. I also like her in the next books, which may have influenced my writing of this book. Had I done my ratings after this book the way I'm supposed to, this might've been a four but I do like her in the next books as well. She takes care of her sisters. She grows as a character and becomes the old lady. She gets five stars. I'm doing it, Shani.

I know you're doing it, but I do not agree.

Clearly, this entire episode has been me explaining this book to you. I am not surprised. You know what I didn't even talk about yet though, which I feel like up to my ratings is I love Sons of Anarchy. Did you ever watch that TV show?

We are immediately after this going to watch an episode. Hopefully, it's streaming somewhere.

Do you know who Charlie Hunnam is the actor?

No.

Google his face real fast. Charlie Hunnam Sons of Anarchy. Treat yourself to a quick peek of the smoke show that is Charlie Hunnam on Sons of Anarchy. Cash scroll through some of the images of his back, his chest.

From the neck down, I'll give you that.

Don't you like his face?

No.

We're not friends anymore. We're breaking up.

There are only two blondes that I love and one is Brad Pitt.

One of your partners is blonde, you hypocrite.

That's the other one.

This friendship is over.

Is this the episode that's going to take us out?

You know I don't care. You can have your own opinion. I watched the show for seven seasons and this book brought back so much nostalgia. She clearly did her research because all the terminology is the same. I got so much out of it being like, "She's going to be the old lady." In my mind, River, even though he's described very differently is Jax, in my mind, the way he looks, talks and acts. Even though Jax did not have a speech impediment and he was not mute. I feel like that affected the way I read this book is that I already knew the world from that show. They also have a ton of dealings with the area, nations, the cartels, and the gangs of different races and stuff like that.

I did find one picture where he is remarkably tan and chiseled. They got the lighting right.

Does he have a necklace hanging on his chest?

He's got a necklace. In this picture, he does look truly scrumptious.

After this, I'm going to share some videos of him fucking on that show his back and his ass. Anyone who watched his show, you know what I'm talking about.

As soon as we finish this show.

Him fucking on the show is some of the best things of my life. My young life. I was not that old when it started in 2008.

Here's my thing. Motorcycle clubs, I've only read one book may be a long time ago. I don't know all the terminology, but context clues, I got that there was stuff that was the culture of what it was. I tried to accept that because it was like a variable I couldn't control. This is what motorcycle clubs are. I'm brown, Bridget, I don't know if you noticed.

I never saw it before. I never noticed. I'm colorblind legitimately. It’s not like the fake people don't see color. I literally can't see any color, I see only in grayscale. You're grayer.

I would be performing in various different bands and most of the bands I was in, it was all white folks. There might've been like, there was a black girl in one band or whatever, but for the most part the majority, white men. I distinctly remember this one time showing up for a show. I don't know if I can describe this for you, but what amounted to a bedazzled like a one-piece bathing suit looking leotard with green cheetah tights on and a tulle train that dragged on the floor. My Afro puff, glitter on my face and red lips.

The definition of extra, that's what you're talking about.

Five-inch fucking heels. I'm ready for our performance and then gave me the address. I show up at a biker bar. I am the only melanin in that place for miles and miles. I grabbed my friend. I was like, "You idiot. If you want me to show up to a place like this, you need to tell me where the hell I'm going." I walked in there and every eye turned.

We also need a carpool. I would wear a much more muted outfit.

This is the night I died. This is how I go. That was not fun. I had some stern talks that night, but I do have a picture of it. My face looks exactly how you think it does.

The wide-eye panic smile. What did you give our heroine?

I gave homegirl a two. She gained a point. I was going to give her one because she'd left her sisters behind and she wasn't too eager to find them. Sister before misters. I liked that she had gumption and she gained a point for me by pointing out that fool at the end and being like, "Snipe him." I liked that she grew through the book. I did think that she got there a little fast. I do think it's a little bit of a cheat to skip the time as the author did at the beginning of the book like that but that is what it is. I didn't feel like there was much to her. I thought there could have been more gumption. I thought that there could have been more between her and Styx. I wanted more romance between them.

I definitely agree with the warning more romance, 100%. 

I did not know why they were together with other than the fact that they met when they were little kids and she had wolf eyes.

Obviously, there were soulmates, Shani, Jesus.

There were sparkles in the air. He was like, "I'm going to drop my girl on the side. I'm dropping everything for her." There was a point in the book that was realistic in the very beginning when he met her and he saw she had the wolf eyes and she freaked out about something right away. It was the first real moment where he realized like, "She's a traumatized person. This might be more than I bargained for." I was like, "Go with that thought, my dude." That was it. That was that one moment and then it seemed like everything else worked out from there. I wanted to see a little bit more of that, of them working together and communicating through some of those things.

Books 2 and 3 are significantly more romance novel foreign center. They are very much about romance. A lot of other things happen of course, but they are more centralized.

This book is interesting because overall, I didn't like this book. However, I do want to read the next two. Most of the time, if I don't like the book, I burn them all to the ground. I don't want them, but Flame had me intrigued, and to get the flame, I might as well read Ky.

I might as well read it. I like book two. Probably of the three, this might be the weakest of the first three. Maybe this one's on par with the second book though, because the second book has a better romance, but she's brainwashed. I was like, "I know you're brainwashed. I know that's a fact. Also, get your shit together, lady. These people are bad. You don't want to go back there. They're bad people."

I'm going to give it a read.

What did you think about our hero?

I gave him a two as well. For me, he was too dumb and he was all bronze, no brains for me and I needed the brains. The fact that they killed the wrong snitch.

He was fine by the seat of his pants. Honestly, it reminded me so much of Jax Teller because they make many mistakes and they're in over their head and they're trying to swim. That's basically Jax Teller in a nutshell. I gave him a four. The nostalgia was real.

I’ve got to watch that show.

I did like him. I feel like he probably earned a little bit more. He probably would have been a three if I had rated this before I read the other two books. Like everyone else, he grows as a character. He's in the other books too. I definitely don't like the chest-beating. "Stay away from my woman." She already said no to the guy be like, "Respect her no, bro. Back off." He beats the guy up and I feel unnecessary.

I like the alpha male like, "She's mine." That type of thing. That's part of my kink. I really enjoy that. However, it seemed to happen many times. It was redundant.

It's because Rider was a pussy ass bitch. I was like, "Rider, stop being an idiot. This man is going to murder you."

I couldn't quite figure out why it kept happening.

I do love a man who's willing to give a bullet in the fiction, of course and move hell and high water to save her and her sisters and given out. It is not a no thing for her. He was like, "You want that man done? He’s dead." They got there and he's like, "Keep the woman and children alive, kill everyone else." I was like, "Yes, that is the hellfire and brimstone a cult of pedophiles deserves. Murder everyone, except for the women and children."

What's funny is that the cult has all these prophecies about what's about to happen. When everybody gets murdered does include them in the fact that these prophecies do not work out.

In the 2nd and 3rd books, they talk about a little bit about that. They move the cult to another location and basically, they don't tell people what happened officially. They know that the main prophet died, but they don't tell most people that he was murdered. They tell them that the commune closed and that they're bringing all the different communes together into one major compound. I don't think they tell the people what happened except for the ruling council. Rider's in for a rude surprise when he realizes that everyone, except for him, knows that they're raping small children and stuff like that.

He's the odd man out.

He was like, "That's true. What the fuck is going on here?"

I will give his one point because he did kill all those people. However, there's one line in the book where he basically is like, "I'm about to eat that pussy." I was like, "That's a good line."

"Go and get it, son." What's weird is because it wasn't a romance and there wasn't a ton of sexual tension built up. I felt like their sex scenes were good, but they weren't sexy in the sense that I wasn't invested in them fucking, and I definitely feel like I was certainly more invested in the future books.

I literally was thinking about Flame the entire book. Once she went to see him and he was cutting himself up and do whatever. I was like, "He's got a book and I want to read it."

Dear patrons and readers, I'm going to wait to give my review of Flame’s book until Shani can read it because I feel like we both need to. The second book, whether you want to read it or not, you can, and I'll wait for you if you want me to. I could also tell you what happens. The third book, I'm going to have to wait for you to read it so that we can talk about it because I'm intrigued. I said that he was a McDreamy. He was supposed to be a McSteamy, but he's not. He's McDreamy because he saves her and he takes care of her and protects her from the cult.

Apparently, his love for her stopped his stutter at the very end of that one scene.

He says one whole sentence without stuttering. I don't know that much about stuttering. Although I've seen it in a few movies that it was featured prominently, it does seem to be the more that you can be relaxed and not worried about your words, the less you stutter, it seems to be like a general thing. For me, it went back to that soulmate idea that even as a child something about her relaxed him enough that he could talk. The more he was around her and she didn't judge him for the way he talked and she didn't like to make him uncomfortable for the way he talked. He was able to relax around her. That was the way I took it. It's not like she solves his stutter and now he can talk to other people. He's okay to talk to other people.

He delivered that one sentence.

He talks to her only.

I know you’ve got a bunch of favorite lines.

I don't have that many. She had one night like a sweet one, which is when she's essentially reaffirming the fact that she loves him after he's worried about Rider. She says, "I have only ever liked one boy in my life. I have only wanted one man to have as my own. I have only ever had one dream since I was eight. Styx, the dream is you, you stole my heart fifteen years ago and you still haven't given it back." I always think that's a nice sentiment. It's like the end of a romcom, when they're listing the ten things they love about someone and you're like, "That's nice that you only have ever loved him." I like it.

I had two favorite lines. One favorite, which is very simple. "I want you to own me." I was like, "Yes, own her. She's asking for it. Don't make her ask twice." The other one, it's not quite that I liked it, "I was wrong so damn wrong. You need a strong man, babe. You need a man to love you, to protect you, to be your fucking world. Her breath paused and I smirked. It's me, babe. It's so fucking me." I was like, "There's that title of the book." It’s coming in a full circle.

It is me. It wasn't at the beginning, I didn't think, but it is. My other favorite one was also a stutter, but I won't read the stutter, "I want you to fuck. I want you in my bed, by my side on my bike. I want you as my old lady taking care of me, needing me, letting me inside you." I was like, "Why don't you let him right on inside them. You severely traumatized cult survivor." I didn't know it was also part of it. There were a few things and this is such a weird thing to say, but that I was happy about in terms of the way that they were raped. I know this is going to sound weird and it might be a horrible sentiment, but I was happy they were never kissed on the mouth. I was happy that they only ever did it as weird as tying the hands behind the back doggy style.

Only because, I feel like it made it easier for me in my mind to not be wondering like, "Why isn't she freaked out by kissing him? Why isn't she freaked out by him being on top of her or her being on top of him." He never has sex with her doggy style. I imagine that would be incredibly triggering, but it's not like I'm happy. I'm not happy she was raped in the story at all, even though it's fiction. I'm also like that it helped explain the way that she was able to have sex. Although I will say that in the third book, she is not even sure she'll ever be able to touch him at the beginning of the book. She's worried. She'll never be able to stand his hand touching her anywhere on her entire. She had it the worst, her brother who was assigned to her, it was the worst of them. She definitely had a very different sexual experience for at least three characters so far that I have seen. I will be reading the threesome and let you know about threesomes.

The threesome has to be read. The thing is as much as I dislike this book, I don't dislike cold writing. I feel like that might be confusing, but I can see the potential even though this book felt very clumsy. I can see it being a good world builder for the next book or the next books to come. I'm excited to read more from Tillie Cole even though this one did not hit my buttons.

This book was recommended a lot and so was Lord of London Town, which is one of her newer books. This book was written in 2014. She's been writing for years now. The Lord of London Town one is supposed to be much darker. He's a London mafia, prince sort of idea. They did not have it on audio. That's why I did not choose it, but I'll probably read that one too and check it out for you and let you know.

Treat myself, let me know. I'm not convinced that the motorcycle club books are my Jimmy jam and not my cup of tea, but they're also not terrible. It's not like I hate them, but if I have the option.

I feel like it's more of an action-suspense thing for you. This is where this falls for me is, I like this type of book. I like this type of TV show. All this stuff that you had problems with, obviously I was like, "I didn't have any problems with that because of XYZ." The same thing, I feel like this would be reading, like any book that has spice or black ops or something. You're like, "What about all these things?" I'm like, "Shani, none of that matters." I feel like that makes sense why I like this book more than you do.

I'm going to try more Tillie Cole and I'll try another motorcycle club from a different author.

We have another one coming up this season. It should be at the tip of my tongue the books we're doing this season, but it's not. We can announce it on the show. I'm moving to Chicago. Shani is unhappy about this development, although it's going to be great. We haven't seen each other in real life, in a year anyway. Everything is still going great in our friendship and business partnerships. We will keep delivering great content. We're going to see each other so much more than you think. It's going to be quality time because I'm going to leave my children and we're going to go spend a weekend at a convention together or I'm going to leave my family.

You had me at, "I'll leave the children."

My brother and his kids are there so they could take the kids for the weekend. They're bigger now. They can go with my mom or my dad. There are going to be a lot more opportunities for solo Bridge and Shani time, which is going to be stupendous. What did you give the old book? What did you give the final rating? You're at a two. I'm assuming you gave it a two, but maybe not.

I was waffling between 2 and 3. Normally, if I think a book is a good, solid read, I give it a three, even if it's not my favorite. However, I gave this book a two because I don't want anybody to read this book thinking I gave it a three and think it's a solid book. I don't think it's solid.

I gave it a four because I read 2 and 3 after. Like you, I was intrigued by the next stories. I always feel like if I like a book enough and I'm reading it and I immediately want to open a book, number two, for me, I don't usually do that with a book like three. Usually, I'm like, "That was okay," and then I move on. Usually 4s or 5s. Fives, I immediately before I'm even finished, I've already purchased the next one. I already have it in the queue ready to go or I panic. Fours, I will immediately read the next one. I did read books 2 and 3 right after because I wanted to see what happened to her sisters.

I don't think this book was hot or steamy. They do have some good sex on the page, but it's definitely again, not hot or steamy. It's like sex on the page. For me, this book was more fascinating and I was invested in the characters and the side characters in the world. I wanted to stay in the world and also a lot of nostalgia for the MC world. A lot of Sons of Anarchy love bleeding into this. I enjoy this type of book where there's a lot of shit going on. A lot of action and things are moving. I enjoy that in general when I'm reading. I thought the cult stuff was fascinating to read about. I liked books 2 and 3. I would give it a four regardless. I probably would've given the characters of 4 to 3, honestly, if I had rated this right after I read it, but I didn't. They're staying at a 5 and a 4 and a 4 overall.

Which makes sense though, because normally we're a star off from each other.

A 4 and a 3 would make more sense than a 5 and a 4. I do have to say that there, I like the characters in the next books.

There was some redemption.

I did not like Rider's character enough to read his book. I was like, "Fuck you, bro. You don't deserve a happy ending, so I will skip you."

I feel like for Rider to have a happy ending, for me to enjoy Rider's book, he's got to do something so amazing that it counterbalances all the bullshittery.

Do you want me to tell you what happens in book three or should I save it for Patreon?

No, don't tell me. I'm going to read book three. Which one is Rider's book?

His is book four but he's featured heavily in books 2 and 3 because he's the main.

No. I'm going to read it.

There you have it guys a 4 and a 2. This might be the furthest apart Shani and I have ever been. That's probably not true though because of Katrina Jackson's book we are far apart too. 

We were polar opposites.

I love that book so much.

I have to read another Katrina Jackson.

Pink Slip, you should read it. If you guys like spy romance, it is sexy as fuck.

It's got a lot of sex in it. I will tell you that, but you have to suspend your logical disbelief if you want.

It's a spy romance. They already knew they had to suspend disbelief. It's a spy, ménage, throuple, romance. That's all. A married couple falls in love with their assistant. They all fall in love with each other. It's a spy romance.

Katrina Jackson's book we did early on in the show. Since then, I felt like we were reading much more of this quickie, like get you off type books or whatever, which I feel like Katrina Jackson's book is a bit like that because it wasn't a novella.

No, but it's not long.

It felt like a novella. It felt very much like a quickie get you off and that's what it is now.

It's only 280 pages, so it's not super short, but it's also not long.

Bridget is correct. I do not enjoy spy books. I tell her all the time and I want to be too titillating. If I'm going to be in a spy thing, cops, detectives or things like that, then I get invested in that. I want it to make sense. I could not under any circumstance fathom why they brought her on a spy mission.

The whole premise of the book is her problem is that you would never bring your civilian assistant on a spy mission, except for that they had to because they needed to get into a BDS club and they needed to be a threesome to entice the bad guy so that then they could save the world. They don't trust anyone else except for her and they're in love with her, obviously.

They brought a civilian into a highly dangerous mafia situation. They murdered someone in front of her.

I don't want to hear any more nonsense about logic. She knows they kill people. They're spies. She doesn't care about that. She loves him.

She did not know they were spies until afterwards and telling her they killed the motherfucker right in front of her.

We're going to end this episode, but you definitely should go back to season three and read the episode about the book, because it was so much fun. It basically was the exact same thing of Shani being like, "What the fuck's going on?" Me being like, "Ignore it. It's fun." I also would like to say that it is one of the very few. We've only done two books where there was no audiobook. You can go back and read whether I think, and Shani thinks, we talked about whether that colored her review and whether if she had listened to it if she would have rated it, maybe a star higher. It's an interesting episode. Definitely go check it out in season three. It came out in, I want to say May possibly June of 2020 if you were scrolling through your podcasting app.

If you guys have another Katrina Jackson book that you recommend highly, hit me up, especially if there's audio. I want to give her a second read because I felt like she came in early on and I've relaxed my standards in terms of some of these books that are a little quick adventure, fuck rompers, or whatever.

None of the other quickie books that we've done are in that genre. I don't think you like suspense.

You're not wrong.

I feel like if you're recommending Katrina Jackson recommended that is not in the suspense. Get Shani some regular non-spy romance from Katrina Jackson.

Contemporary, anything historical or fantasy. If Katrina Jackson has any fantasy aliens, I will also accept.

We have a fun surprise. We are going to go on our homegirl Sarah's Smart Bitches, Trashy Books podcast. She knows us so well that she chose an alien menage for us. What a sweetheart. You're considerate. She's like, "What do you guys think about this?" We were like, "Yes, please." That sounds delightful. We're super excited about that. We will let you guys know when that episode is going to be coming out in the next couple of months, weeks. I don't know when it comes out.

That is all we have for you. I love when we disagree on a book. It's the most fun.

There are going to be a lot more disagreements in this season based on the subject matter. I don't think neither of us has read any of the authors before. In historicals, you had already read a bunch of the authors. In our season that we did the mashup, I had already read a couple of the authors, not that book necessarily, but I was choosing authors for a specific purpose. This is a season where we have not read a single author. That’s exciting.

I've read quite a bit of dark romance, but I wouldn't say I'm hugely versed in dark romance. It's nice to go on this adventure together. I'm digging this shit, but I would like a proper dark romance.

I'm hopeful because there's a couple in here that have some real titles that I'm kidnapped be dark with that title.

I know we have a mafia one later on in the season and I love mafia. We talked about the Russian mafia.

We have some bully romances too. We'll probably get some good bullying in a romance. On that note, may your books be your lover.

Your hand, your best friend.

Goodbye, friends.

 Important Links:

• It Ain't Me, Babe

• Patreon.com/RomanceAtAGlance 

• Hades Hangmen Series

• Black Dagger Brotherhood 

• Darkness Embraced

• Crux Untamed

• Lord of London Town 

• Pink Slip

• Smart Bitches, Trashy Books

• https://Amzn.to/3jCEPCL